well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
