True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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