is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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