I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
