It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
