D3 body, D1 cock
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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