I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
