So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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