don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
