I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
