I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
