Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
