I want to stick my p in your. b.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
