You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
