Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think people are normalizing furries
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
