I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
