**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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