When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
