My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
