I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
