The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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