You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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