can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize