You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think my moral compass just broke
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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