I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
