Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
