She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
