He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
