Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I intend to get homeless drunk
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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