He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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