clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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