You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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