dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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