You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
