What a fucking waste of an outfit
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
