Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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