I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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