Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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