I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need to align my fucking chakras
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
