so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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