ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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