I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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