We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
