why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The adults are the big ones right?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
