You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's blow job season.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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