The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
