And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
