I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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