i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
