why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
