She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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