omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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