would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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