well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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