so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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