omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
not ubering you a puppy
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
