This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
