She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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