This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
