I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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