Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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