Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
