do herpes really smell.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
