I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
