I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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