he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
