Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
