dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You can't special order awesome
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
