my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
