I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
