Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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