when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
